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Angelhead Midwinter Day 24

We have been here a little over two years. We took down trees and milled cedar into boards. Jesse pitched in for that job, and is now living with us while building a second career. Or, he lives with us when he isn't out of town. I decided last year that the winter solstice would be a day for us here, to mark years. So, here we are, time marked.


borrowed a friend's sawmill

What's happened besides pulling down trees? Interesting and unexpected. Not surprisingly, productivity is limited with Anna on my tether. No heavy machinery, and not really an unbroken attention span. If she is awake, my little light has been on for the last 7 years. Ask me what's that like. I didn't understand the monopoly of being sole caregiver until recently.


Besides how to dry lumber, financial viability is also a question. Back up a decade.

we didn't burn much; mostly made mulch

The State receives Federal money to provide assistance for special needs adults; however, funds are limited (I think that's the difference between state and federal ). There is a waiting list. At age 18 Anna was placed on the list in Wake County. We were told waiting might well mean 20 years or more. Well, alright. We had moved to Cary for Anna to work at Life Experiences. LE was an extraordinary private enterprise that employed special needs adults for 50 years, but it did not survive Covid. The influx of Federal money for "free programs" undercut their fundraising model. Other things filled the vacuum.


You get what you pay for, so I pursued my long-shot-I'm-crazy plan and bought this little piece of land. We don't use that four letter F word. That would be pretentious, when one can use the common English locution, small holding. I paid for this property, and the plan is to make a life vocation of it for Anna. That's a 30, 40 year something. A long look for later.


Upon moving to Harnett County, I met the father of a former student from back in the RUF days. He owns an in-home health care company, providing care-givers for the home-bound or disabled. He learned of our situation and informed me of our actual situation. Having crossed that particular county line, Anna was eligible to switch from one waiting list to another, and if her original registration date were honored-- she might well get state support sooner.


The most delightful developments are Anna's. She has gone from unintelligible monosyllables to full sentences and conversations with friends. Especially commencing at age 23, it is extraordinary that intervention has not yet discovered any fixed limitations. She is actually working on singing. Ladies at church are helping with that, and teaching her the children's catechism. Occupational therapy, speech therapy, vision therapy-- all continue and are still both laborious but open-ended. I can't succinctly convey how much has happened since I witnessed her first-in-a-lifetime startle reaction 5 years ago. She no longer is mistaken for a child; she is coming to terms with being an adult.


The most timely development is with the State support system. My friend navigated the system for us; Anna's original matriculation date was preserved; moved to the waiting list for our new residency-- Anna was first for the year 2024. As of a couple of months ago, my full time earning job is caregiver for Anna, clocking in for 40 hours a week. Shortly thereafter, we were able to arrange 25 hours a week of "community networking." For Anna that amounts to apprenticing with Fernandez Farms. Chickens, goats, sheep, strawberries, garlic-- and some kids from 2 months to 8 years. This week I learned that Anna has been reading board books to the two year old.


lady of Angelhead and young Gideon

For me, it is 20 hours to work without Anna; in fact, it is 20 hours without Anna in my peripheral. John and Jessica Fernandez are folks we know and trust. The 40 hours of pay fills the financial gap I saw coming. It's the least I've earned in my life, but it is enough for now. That 20 hours of work (my dream job for which I'm keeping the day job?) means I can start making some real progress. Once I get over the shock.


So, we're down here round Chalybeate. Doing OK. Angelhead is now at least a heard word . Anna progresses extraordinarily. There's enough money. Working on getting started.


Shortest day, longest night.

I'm praying for the next 30 years, and then.

The coming day of judgement is a sober but sweet expectation.


told two years to dry without contriving some heat

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